Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Muse: Blue skies

I oft thought I might not see, 
blue skies as it was told to me.

Clouds by the plenty, 
were but distraction mighty

Grey clouds abounded, 
bright skies eluded

Wanting, waiting
Would I ever see?

Dear Diary: Thoughts from a café

I start every entry with a cliche resignation that more time has transpired then I should like it to have since my last writing. That is not entirely true, however --I have in recent days taken to the old-fashioned way of writing, and have been updating rather frequently in my black leather Moleskine. As I sit here with a cup of hazelnut latte, I am no longer in the sunny island of Singapore --the weather is in fact rather melancholic, often filled with dark skies and sporadic rainfall, although I have also witnessed the rays of sunlight that peeks ever so often. In fact, the beautiful Tokyo and New York City have been lovely experiences that I have so had the privilege of experiencing before I arrived here in California. The San Francisco bay is rather representative of me, I often say  --it does not know quite what it wants. One could walk out in a tank top and return with a wool coat (no doubt a pain) but I have grown fond of it. It rather attracts me, with its odd temperament and quirks.

So much has taken its place in my life since I last wrote, that it appears to me almost akin a movie, or a film of some sort. There are some things that just do not present themselves in the reality of everyday life --or do they? I am convicted that life courses are constructed, by the social structure in which we inevitably reside, but not without individual agency. And I chose to go on an adventure --for what of life without it? The fear, the danger that I could potentially touch almost excite me, for what is the worst that could happen that I have not seen? I wonder. Taking a leap over a boulder meant one is presented with a chance of survival, although the possibility of death remains ever present. Had I not so chosen,I would be left only with the latter option, and I did not (and I do not) want to live live as such.

I have grown braver, I think. 

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